Understanding Primary Student Behaviours: Attachment, Guilt and Need for Connection

Description

Teachers in Primary schools often face behaviours that are difficult to manage: students who act out and refuse to follow instructions, challenge boundaries, shout for attention, or even use provocative and offensive language.

These moments can feel overwhelming, but those actions actually reflect deeper needs and unspoken emotions (e.g., insecurity, frustration, shame, fear of failure). Learning to read these signals can transform the way a class works.

This course will help Primary school educators move beyond quick judgments and understand these driving emotional needs.

Focusing on the psychology of shame, guilt, and self-worth in children’s development, it will offer participants both emotional insight and concrete communication tools to support students in feeling emotionally secure and valued and to protect themselves from stress and burnout.

Drawing on Sue Johnson’s Emotion-Focused Therapy model and Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion, the course balances theoretical inputs with sessions of practical and experiential learning.

Participants will analyse case studies, engage in hands-on activities, practice role-playing. They will explore the difference between healthy guilt (which supports growth) and toxic guilt (which can paralyze), reflecting on their own experience and working with examples that mirror real classroom situations.

Also, special attention will be given to teachers’ own emotional response by analyzing how tone of voice, body language, and self-regulation can make a decisive difference in creating a sense of safety and belonging in classroom interactions.

By the end of the course, participants will have enhanced their ability to “read” what lies behind their students’ behaviour and to act in ways that build trust and responsibility.

They’ll be able to respond with clarity and empathy, recognize when behaviours signal a need for reassurance rather than punishment, communicate properly to de-escalate conflict, and they will have a grasp on strategies and practical routines that support connection and emotional security in the classroom environment.

Concept by Cecilia Mancini

Learning outcomes

The course will help the participants to:  

• Understand why challenging behavior arises in Primary students (and in teachers) and how to respond with strategies that reduce conflict and restore calm;
• Distinguish between healthy and harmful/toxic guilt and use this understanding to guide responses that support responsibility without shame;
• Apply attachment-informed approaches to strengthen trust and connection with students;
• Use self-compassion (Kristin Neff’s research) and emotional regulation techniques (Sue Johnson’s Emotion-Focused Therapy model) to develop greater awareness of their emotional reactions and to stay grounded and avoid stress and burnout.
• Practice communication skills that help balance clear boundaries with empathy, learning how to use words, tone, and body language.
• Create routines and classroom practices that can make Primary students feel safe, valued, and emotionally and academically understood.

Tentative schedule

Day 1 – Course introduction and understanding behavior

• Introduction to the course, the school, and the external week activities;
• Icebreaker activities;
• Presentations of the participants’ schools;
• Study of attachment theory and how early relational experiences shape emotional responses in students and adults;
• Understanding challenging behaviour as a form of communication in a Primary school context;
• Distinguishing between healthy guilt and toxic guilt;
• Reflecting on how these emotions drive behavior.

Day 2 – Self-compassion and teacher wellbeing

• Explore the three core components of self-compassion (mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness) – Kristin Neff’s model;
• Recognize the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem, and why the former is more stable and sustainable for educators in Primary schools;
• Identify your own inner critical voice and begin to respond with greater kindness and realism;
• Experiential exercises and guided reflections to apply concepts to personal teaching experience.

Day 3 – Emotional presence in the classroom

• Understand the basic principles of Emotion-Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) to learn how to handle emotionally intense moments in the classroom;
• Recognize and differentiate emotional reactions in your students and in yourself;
• Why presence, validation, and connection are more effective than correction alone in a Primary school environment;
• How to use relational and emotional cues (verbal and non-verbal) to foster a sense of safety and trust;
• Role play and simulations inspired by real classroom situations.

Day 4 – Communication as a tool for safety

• The verbal, paraverbal, and nonverbal layers of teacher–student interactions;
• How each level of communication impacts relational safety in the classroom;
• How to communicate during critical moments without damaging trust and breaking the relationship (examples and reformulations);
• Practical exercises: reformulating messages, “words that open” (and “words that close”).

Day 5 – From insight to practice

• Educational planning: practical strategies to bring what you’ve learned back into your classroom;
• Group work: sharing of experiences and best practices among participants to inspire mutual learning and future collaboration;
• Reflective writing: consolidate personal insights and identify concrete next steps;
• Feedback, closure, and final group moment: celebrate the journey and support a mindful return to your educational contexts.

Day 6 – Course closure and cultural activities

• Course evaluation: round-up of acquired competences, feedback, and discussion;
• Awarding of the course Certificate of Attendance;
• Excursion and other external cultural activities.

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